Tag Archives: blogs

Getting Pointless Once Again

I’m getting things crossed off that list, the one with 101 things to do in 365 days.  And of course that is all sorts of awesome.  Getting things done are the things dreams are made of, especially with a bazillion animals and young minions.  But yet I’m lacking on one MAJOR area…

“Finish the first edit of Denali”

“Write a Short Story/Flash Fiction”

In all honesty it’s been weeks, maybe even a month since I’ve pondered those two things.

So my brain pulls up excuses…  “You’ll get to them when all the other need to be done’s are done.”  “Maybe you SHOULDN’T be writing.”   “Maybe you should just be a rock farmer.”   “You just suck.”

*headoven*

At first slacking in the blogging/social media world was great.  I lost the constraints I was giving to myself, stopped hearing other people’s words and ideas instead of mine and all sorts of freeing epiphanies.  And then I just lost interest.

Did I lose the muse?

Did I ever have one?

*insert image of my brain and I spinning in circles*

I’ve whined, complained before, thinking maybe this just isn’t for me.  But right now my brain seems to be pretty much convinced.  After all, shouldn’t a passion fuel it’s self??? 

And what “writer” takes months off over and over again, no one will take that seriously.

And is it the book itself?  Is it the ideas?  Is it me?  *pours more coffee*

Do I start over?  Do I just force myself to do it?  Do I sell straw hats at an intersection?

Do I chase away all of my fellow readers by constant whining and pondering of my worth in the world of words?

*gulps down coffee*

And why are REM songs flashing through my head?

 

Smothered and Such

You’d think that by now I would have something to say, something, anything to write about, but I’m still pretty blank.

I think somewhere along the line I drew up some nasty constraints on where this whole thing would go.  There would be plenty of this, a little of that and absolutely NONE of that or this. 

Kind of like Stephen King Putting his name on a Romance novel, if you get my drift.  Boxed into a certain flow, a certain genera, specific expectations, afraid to disappoint.  Stifled.

Smothered.

Life changes, different seasons of growing and learning flow through, and what once needed to be said no longer holds its luster.  But yet you’ve built your podium with crimson roses and ruby stained wood… and now you detest the color red.  But everyone knows you and your ruby-red stage, they’ve come to see those crimson roses… and you, you want to paint it all yellow.

Have I lost you yet?

The shoes of fiction novels drowned in demons and blood sucking uglies just seem five sizes too small.  Blogs of wit and sarcasm just feel all scratchy and stiff.  The world all seems to be made of hand-me-down clothes that you never would have picked for yourself… and for some reason I’m really on some odd analogy kick today.

So what does fit?  Today it would be homemaking, and homesteading as I’m down right ill with spring fever.  (and also to be fair I might still be delusional from that damn rampid stomach flu and fever the boy brought home from school)  (but I have noticed that I do tend to get a heck of a lot of reading done every time I’m dying in the bathroom, here’s to already being on book  5 and 6 of this year’s reading goal)

And yes I am an expert at going no where fast.

For now I’ll keep my fingers away from deleting this whole blog, and I’ll stop my mind from dreaming up new titles and layouts.  Maybe I’ll venture out of my tight, long-sleeved, funny little jacket, and stop hiding away in secret little hidden blogs, or from the whole interwebs in general…

500 Drafts and a Look Inside NaNo ’08

It has been a 500 drafts trashed kind of day.  Not joking at all.

Nothing fits, nothing works, and I’m really not interested in writing about Nothing, once again. 

So instead of pulling myself down a dark tunnel, beating my own self up, I’m just going to allow myself to be uninspired for today. 

But since I refuse to quit on this whole NaBloPoMo deal, I shall still give you something to read, written by me… just not from today.  So for your viewing pleasure I present for you a section from the very first NaNoWriMo book I ever wrote.  (Please note that I do have a handy license over there -> that gives me full rights to eating your soul if you take any piece of this.)

The leaves crunched, the twigs snapped as I sped through the darkening woods. I could feel the sharp and thorny branches digging and grasping into my skin and clothes trying with all their strength to hold me back. How could he leave me?

The blood boiling and surging through my veins pushed my aching straining legs to stride faster, harder, beyond their natural abilities. My feet pounding the earth with each word that rang through my head, “He left me, he left me.” I had no clue as to where I was heading, just not here, not now. I was hoping I could outrun the hurt, maybe I could escape the truth, if I just could run fast enough. The cold, crisp fall air stung my lungs and eyes as I demanded my body to continue on, I must not stop. For the sake of my heart, I cannot stop.

I started slapping at the branches, damning them for being in my way of flight. Cursing my tears for blinding my sight. Everything seemed to be in my way of exile, damn them all, damn him for leaving. I didn’t care that my legs were screaming with pain, I would not allow them to buckle. I was running to stay alive.

Out of the corner of my eyes, in the midst of the cumbersome forest I had lost myself in, a dark figure flew through the trees, distracting me just long enough. My foot caught in a small fallen tree, slamming me down onto the earth. The forest flew by in a flash, as my head crashed down, engulfing me in momentary darkness.

I cautiously opened my eyes, fighting the last of the suns rays that were shining through the leaves before it set. I laid there in my moist bed of leaves shivering, unwilling to move. Life had caught up with me, and I had no strength left to fight it with. The tears flooded through my eyes and engulfed my throat.

I had only been gone three hours from him, just three. I had no idea.

And there ya go.  And here I go to make more coffee…

 

 

~She Writes~

Source UnknownShe sits.  With coffee in hand, grasping onto its warmth. 

She struggles to force her mind to form the thoughts, the words, the ideas that it needs to say, drowning out her made up worlds to quench the status quo of reality.

She forgot where she flourishes, where she thrives.  Trying to fit in where the air can’t fill her lungs.

She stares deeply into her blackened coffee, watching the reflections from the dim lights dance into fragile rings. 

She remembers.  She pauses.  She breathes

That’s why it all has been so incredibly hard, all crammed into the conformities of true life.  She belongs in the fiction, in the dreaming, in the impossible.  That’s where she belongs.

She pours the coffee down her throat, treasuring the warmth and comfort it brings.  She closes down the browsers, the blogs, the social sites and she boots up her pretend worlds. 

Slaying Writer’s block with one swift move.

She writes.   

 

Leave a Message at the Beep

Today I am working. 

I mean really working.  Like editing and re-writing and such. 

I shall not play on the interwebs.  (Much)

No blogging, no tweeting (much), no FB, no nada (after I annoy the world with links).

Feel free to rampage the comments, making this post somewhat interesting…

But for now I’m off to work…

beeeeEeeeeeeeeepppppppppppp.

The Kathryn Ingrid Creativity Award & Passing it On

A while back, Melissa at This N That, That N This kindly passed on to me The Kathryn Ingrid Creativity Award.

Today it’s finally time to share with you, the bloggers that I am passing the torch onto.

And to be 100% honest I don’t follow very many blogs.  Not for the lack of want, but more so because I have 2 young minions, 5 million animals, a project fetish and dino-dial-up-interwebs that makes a blog take an hour to load.  I have it set in my mind to one of these days to take advantage of that whole Google Reader thing and to figure out how to schedule everything in together.

But I digress.

I’m choosing to nominate those who have shown the utmost support in these early days of my rambling. 

And without further rambling:

  1. Melissa at This N That, That N This
  2. Sarah at Coffee and Cigarettes
  3. Heidi at Blogheidi.com
  4. Darci at Belle of the Carnival
  5. George at Rough and Rede
  6. Karen at KarenLynn
  7. Laine at The Laine List
  8. Boy Mom Blog
  9. Lindsey at Rewind Revise

I’m sure I’ve left some really great bloggers out, and I do apologize. 

So here’s the deal for those who are new to this award:

  1.  If you accept the award share thanks to the person who passed it on to you!
  2. Tell us 7 things about you. 
  3. Tell us why you blog. 
  4. And last but not least pass the award on!

Hopefully I was able to make a wee bit more sense on this attempt to wrap up the longest acceptance speech in the blogging world.  Something about clicking, and linking on dino interwebs makes my brain mush out every single time.

Don’t forget to check out the awesome writer’s I linked to!

The Voices in My Head, and Why I Blog

A requirement for the Kathyrn Ingrid Creativity Award is to share why I began blogging.

I wish I had some moving inspiring story, or some fantastic journey that led me here… but I don’t.

Honestly I just have to write

I’ve tried to quit, only to find the voices in my head get much too loud.  I tried to privately journal and share my stories with the goat, but it’s just not the same. 

There’s just something therapeutic about spilling thoughts into the interwebs and having real human beings respond back.  It’s about making that connection. 

It’s almost addicting.

I do have my practical reasons to.  Like if I ever finish my book and get it published I do expect each and everyone of you to buy a copy.  Which means I best come up with some far more interesting topics to keep you roped in for the next few years…  Yikes.  

So that’s why I’m here, because the voices in muh head tell me I have to.

What about you?

And yes I’m almost done with making this the longest (and worst) acceptance speech EVER.  Come back on Monday to meet fabulous bloggers with whom I’m passing the award onto!  (here’s a hint, it’s probably YOU)

 

Things You Didn’t Need to Know About Me

If you were here yesterday then you know all about my issue with Shriveled Apple Brains

It’s a real problem, and I do believe the only treatment is an IV of straight up espresso and two weeks vacation at the Bolongo Bay Resort in St.Thomas.  But my husband had to remind me that I am not yet famous, and that flying to the Virgin Islands is not a real option at this time.  Humph.

So yesterday as I’m running around with applesauce leaking out of my ears a dear friend, and excellent blogger, (go visit her awesomeness and some other awesome writers at This N That, That N This) nominated me for a Kathyrn Ingrid Creativity Award… I thinkI know she nominated me for something awesome, I’m just not sure what exactly I’m supposed to call it.  I blame the apple brains. 

Anywho, there are requirements that go along with such an honor, many requirements.  I don’t mind a single one, but to be all different and to hide my shriveled brains I’m going to break them all up, and make this the longest acceptance speech in the whole entire bloggersphere. 

Careful there, I can feel your excitement all the way over here.  You almost spilt my coffee.

Here we go…

List Seven Random Facts About Yourself:

1)I am a professional Dog Trainer.  Professional as in I have a $20.000 student loan wrapped around my throat, and I spent six months up to my eyeballs in dogs and everything that comes with them.  I’ve trained them all from poodles to military dogs.  And I’ve only been bitten badly one time, by my husbands dog.  <- I keep photos of the incident just in case.

2)I have a split personality and her name is Martha.  I love getting down and dirty with sticks, yarn and hot glue, and I can’t function if I don’t have at least 10 projects going on at one time. 

3) I live in the middle of nowhere, and that’s the way I like it, most days, except when I need a good real coffee, then I hate it.  Real coffee is a 45 minute drive away.  (I’m still waiting for a coffee shop to appear under my Christmas tree).  But living in the middle of nowhere allows me to get my alter-wanna-be-ego of Caroline Ingalls out. 

4) At my house you will find 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 goat, 4 chickens, 2 budgies (birds), and a random number of fish.  That’s not counting the creatures that reside here without our permission, Copper Heads, Turkey, Deer, Coyotes, Strays, Stray horses (yes really), A BEAR and of course the Moosen Goosen.

5) In case you can’t tell I’m an ubber conservative christian.  Sometimes I stray off task and go onto long rants and blurbs on my beloved politics and faith, BUT I have a strong belief of not pushing these on anyone.  It only makes sense, and it’s outlined heavily in my bible… I do not and will not judge, and I will not and do not bash.  Period.  But I will always have my strong opinions.

6) I despise winter.  There’s not one single part of winter that I enjoy.  I hate snow, I hate ice, I hate cold, I hate long dark days.  I HATE it.  I love 80* days, and sweating under the sun, it’s the only way to live.  But my husband still thinks that one day he’ll get me to move to his former hometown, in Minnesota.  Ha.  He swears that winter is fun up there… but for some reason he’s only taken me there in the SUMMER.  I’m no fool.

7) In college I studied Mass Communications, Photography, Political Science, Bio-Medical Ethical Sciences and Dog Training.  I left college to pursue a wild dream of Equestrian Sciences.  One of these days I’ll go back and get an actual degree so I can pursue my true passion of being the President of the United States of America.  Because who wouldn’t love a President who rides around on horseback, while having their dog fetch them a beer, while taking photographs and advertising about them to people in dire medical situations.  Makes perfect sense to me.

If you’re still here reading, come back tomorrow when I get all smooshy wooshy about the next step to this award.  ❤