A Monday Ramble

There’s some very good benefits to giving up on the whole “real writing” deal.

Like stats, I can finally give up on checking the dang stats every time I publish a new post here.  Sure I still look, but it’s easier to shrug them off now.  Also, it’s a tad bit easier to pull something out of nothing for NaBloPoMo, I’ve lost the worry over “What will Blogher want to see?”  and “What will they feature, or better yet Syndicate?”  And there’s the daunting, “Oh my gawd, people will see that post and think I’m crazy for even thinking I could be a writer!”  Lost that one too.

I needed a huge dose of “I don’t care” a very long time ago.  Because I always cared, always, and I cared too much.

Which is a confusing mix of inner voices, because all the time when I was striving for this goal or that, letting my feelings get tied into who did what, and why not me… the whole time I was battling whether or not any of it was even the path for me.  Mental punishment for both trying and for not trying hard enough.

Now I get to sick back and laugh at it all.  And it feels good.  I don’t have to care anymore.  I can just enjoy putting words out into the interwebs… or not.

Granted, quitting something before you even really step out and try it on, probably isn’t the best “Go me” moment.   Because when you get down to it, blogging and writing, are a whole heap of sameness, yet couldn’t be further apart.  There’s such safety hiding behind little blurbs of thoughts, but writing, as in sending your works out to someone specifically, waiting for them, hoping they choose you… yeah.

Maybe one day I won’t be able to hold back those little voices in my head who want to walk down the aisle of a bookstore and see my name sitting on the shelf.  But for now, I’m happy to be free from them.

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6 responses to “A Monday Ramble

  1. I actually think you are a very good writer and blogger too. But we all need to step away now and again to get some personal perspective. Walking away takes courage too, but you are not quitting, just breathing. So enjoy the holiday and keep allowing the creative flow to wash over you. You’ll have a book on those shelves when time and creativity collide.
    Be awesome. Be you.

  2. biggest breakthrough-ever–
    this is a teat jerker post for me because it is not just in the arena of writing, this decision is setting you free on ALL levels.

    Earnest striving almost killed me. Exhausted, in mind and body, the my creative spirit could finely rise up in freedom and joy in the power of HIS Spirit

    • So very true. And it can be such a hamper everywhere, especially, if you become like me, and needing constant approval on things like such, and it just feeds a big monster… I could write a whole ‘nother post on this subject. 😉 Thanks for the comment! ❤

  3. Hmmm…while I do agree that stepping back is healthy at times, it can also turn into hiding. As well as sweeping our desires under the carpet so that we don’t have to face rejection. I agree you need time away, because you’ve got so much going on raising small kids and building a business to help support your family. But, I’ve had too many conversations with you to know that writing was a big piece of your heart. I know too well that you’ve got more of it inside you, but current obstacles are driving you to think publication is impossible. Maybe right now…and maybe that’s what you mean. But, I’m reading something between these lines and I sure hope it isn’t the death of dream. I ❤ you and your ideas, so give them a rest…yes. But don't bury them. *I feel your stern eyebrows giving me evil looks*

    • There’s never stern eyebrows with you on these sorts of things, lol. And there is a lot there. A lot of time, heart and more… and this isn’t a forever goodbye to the book. It’s a well… we already chatted post this comment, so yeah. ❤

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