There’s that moment in time when you let someone into your secret private world in your head, the one you’ve devoted every inch of your being too, the first time you share your work, and you wait.  You cringe, and try to hide, you fight back the urge to snap the work back away from them, to take all the words back.  You want to shrink and hide away, afraid of what they might think.

Afterall, you’re a normal average person.  A mother, a cook, a home keeper and animal wrangler… you live an average life.  This world on the paper, the world you have created, is far from average.  They are going to think that you are all sorts of crazy!

I mean sure, the plot sounds good inside your head, you’d read it, you’d watch it unfold on a big screen… but what if it’s too creative, too crazy, too out there?  And then, what if, just what if, not only you have dreamt up a crazy world that makes little sense, what if you wrote it badly?! 

Next you find yourself feeling sorry for the poor sap that has to read your pile of craziness because how are they going to face you ever again!?  Your gut is turning and wrenching as you wait for them to look up…

Maybe it’s not too late to run away…

Maybe you can blame the many side effects of the cold medicine…

If only you could get off the damn rollercoaster of excitement, embarrassment, and evil inner editors…

And you’re not running because you really do want to know what they think.  But then again you wonder if they’d even tell you the truth, and you’re really wishing you could teleport to one of those stupid daytime talk shows that have an ever waiting lie detector sitting in the green room.  And then your thoughts float to what the mother of what’s her name who wrote 50 Shades of Grey thought when she read her books.  And then you remember someone is reading your words RIGHT NOW…

(I’m thinking that cold medicine and a pot of coffee do not mix well.  This cold best go away soon!)



6 responses to “Sharing

  1. sharing makes us feel vulnerable. I think that as an artist and writer you are sensitive to others. You need sensitivity to create but don’t let the fanatic in your attic of your mind out shout the calm fellow in the cellar who tells you that all is well when you write authentically, from your heart and soul.

  2. *hugs* Emily.

    You’re doing something amazing by letting the world into the workings of your brain, or as much as you dare within the novel. 🙂

    I wish you all the very best with your editing adventure, and beyond.


  3. Your inner critic apparently feeds off of cold meds. Writers are not the same as their work…from all apparent sources, Stephen King is mostly sane.

    • I know, I know. It was just funny, reading a snippet to someone the other night, and the look on their face as they asked, “Where did you get this from?” I said, “Uh, my brain.” And they said, “This came from your brain? How?” I just wondered, was the questioning from it being too far out, or that good, or that bad? lol. They wouldn’t say. ;\

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