“The Boy” in case you are new around these parts, would be my 6-year-old son. I decided to interview him because normally he’s crazy. This time, of course, he decides to play it straight…
Me: What’s your name? (Joking, I didn’t ask him that one)
Me: How old are you?
The Boy: (with a goofy look) Sixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
Me: Where were you last night at 8pm? (so I might have just finished reading The Curse of the Spellmans)
The Boy: Uhhhh, in bed. (He’s lying, he was brushing his teeth at 8pm, I know because I was staring at the clock lecturing his father on how the boy should have been in bed thirty minutes earlier)
Me: How much money do you have?
The Boy: 72.
Me: “72 dollars???”
The Boy: “it’s 72 cents, but I was going to say zero because I normally don’t have money.” (Another lie, he always has money, I know where he keeps it)
Me: Will you take care of me when I’m old?
The Boy: Ummmm, I’m a kid here, kids can’t cook. But you can teach me to make pancakes when I get older, besides the flip them over when they get bubbly (and so on and on and on and on…. Seriously his answer lasted about five minutes, he’s really serious about this pancake thing)
Me: What will you be when you grow up?
The Boy: I don’t know yet. (I should pinch him. Last month he wanted to be a Summer School Teacher, last week he wanted to be a soccer player and this week he wants to be a boxer)
Me: Are you going to get married?
The Boy: Uh huh. With Tori. ( I hope she makes good pancakes)
Me: Will you buy me a horse?
The Boy: Ummmmmmmmm, maybe. (There was a lot of snickering and funny looks wrapped up in this one.)
Me: Who’s your favorite mommy? (Yes it’s a trick question)
The Boy: You and my gandma. (He’s too smart for me)
Me: Do you have a girlfriend?
The Boy: Uh yeah, it’s Hailey (ummm, but you’re gonna marry Tori???? We have some talkins to do)
Me: Do you love your sister? (The sister would be 19 months old, just as an FYI)
The Boy: Uh, Yeahhhh, of course I do.
Me: Do you like being a big brother?
The Boy: Yeah.
Me: What’s the worst part of being a big brother?
The Boy: That you get bit by your sister.
Me: What’s the best part of being a big brother?
The Boy: Umm, that your sister goes after you and you get to hug her.
Me: What’s your favorite part of school?
The Boy: Recess and Lunch. Because I’m hungry. You sure are asking a lot of questions.
Me: What’s your least favorite part of school?
The Boy: Reading time, because it takes so longgggggg. I don’t like sitting there that long, because it’s boring, I don’t like ummmm, and I like to run and stuff and jog… and not sit. (Bragging moment, the Boy scored highest in his class on his boring reading skills)
Me: What’s your favorite story?
The Boy: Six yellow ducks, do you want me to tell you how it goes, it’s silliest at the end, there’s the sixth little duck who goes QUACK, it’s sooo silly, it would be even funnier if it was a chick who said CHIRP, that would be hilarious! (I think he’s going to be a writer.)