It Burns, It Burns! It Freezes, It BURNS!

I’m going to be bad for a minute, maybe even evil.  Please do forgive me.

The boy child has been doing awesome lately, at home and at school.  Working hard, using manors, pulling his weight.  So for a change of pace, with him being off for a four-day weekend, I took the kids BOTH to Mc.Death’s (eh hem, McDonald’s) for the first time ever… INSIDE, where they have a playground.

His jaw dropped from surprise.

We stuffed our faces with chicken nuggets, and the minions dotted their faces with katsup and crumbs.  They ran, they played, I sat back and laughed.  Good times, a special treat, while my sourdough whole wheat bread cooled back at home.  (That’s me stressing how special of a treat heart-attack food is for us)

Finally I wrangled them up, threw on their coats and did my best to balance an 18 month year old, the hand of a 6-year-old, a diaper bag, two happy meal boxes and drinks out the door.

And then I hear, “My children will be so lucky to have ME as a mom.  I just hate dirty children, with dirty hands, dirty clothes and dirty faces.  Some moms think that dirty nasty kids are just fine, but NOT me.  Nope, my kids will be clean all of the time.”

I barely glance around.  The words of perfection and ultimate knowledge of proper child raising was coming from in between bites of someone who really should not be eating a third pounder double Angus bacon cheeseburger, extra-large sized.  If you get my drift (please take no offense to this comment!!!!!!!!)  In her lap laid a new-born baby, head thrown backwards, almost falling off of her lap.

I giggled. 

I might have snorted.

A new mom.  Ain’t that precious. 

I kept on walking, kissing the katsup stain on my baby’s face, her giggling in return.  I give miss perfection 6 more months before she gives up on the perfect children idea. 

I’m laughing still, just thinking of the ideals we all develop in those first few weeks of motherhood.  My child will NEVER do that!  I would never be THAT kind of mom!  There’s just no way!  Haha… FAIL. 

We all give in some where at some point. 

And for me today it was junk food and katsup dotted faces.  And it was one hundred percent worth it.

Ps. Just ’cause I have to say it.  The minions were clean, beyond the katsup on the baby’s nose.  So she probably wasn’t actually talking about me, or to me… but still.  ;p


6 responses to “It Burns, It Burns! It Freezes, It BURNS!

  1. Oh geesus! People are such ass hats! Seriously. You have a BRAND NEW BABY yet you are commenting on how someone else raises theirs? You can tell a kid who is dirty from having a good time and will probably get a bath at home, and a kid who is continuously dirty and possibly gets a bath once a month. UGH! I. Hate. People!

    • Right. I mean this baby was tiny, like probably not be out in public during flu season tiny. But whom am I to judge, lol. I’ll just go to parenting hell because my baby had katsup on her nose *snort*.

  2. Reblogged this on Coffee and Cigarettes with a Bit o' Whiskey and commented:
    We’ve all been there…. meaning in this woman’s spot. And most of us have had the sense to laugh at the “new perfect moms” .

  3. Lmao, this was not where I thought the post was going. Too funny. Well hey, remember when that woman yelled at me because noodle was playing “catapillar” in the dirt? Yeah. New moms can bite me…. plus ketchup noses are cuuuuute!

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