This week signals the beginning of a war in my home.

Soon you’ll see it, the helmets strapped on, the bullet proof vests tightened securely, the boots laced and the weapons drawn.  Through the holiday music you can hear the battle cries of war, the alarms blaring, screaming out their warnings to all who venture near.  The children, the children will be hiding in fear.

What can be so brutal?  What could cause so much damage?

The Christmas Tree.

Vintage colored drawing of a family bringing home a Christmas tree.

Stop Laughing

My taste in Christmas decorations revolve around simplicity, the outdoors, pure whites, greens and reds, you know, stuff Martha herself would drool over.  Elegant pinecones, fresh greens, hand knit stockings, quilts, white lights and candles.  AND  NO GLITTER.

My husband, well he prefers bright flashing lights that send an epileptic person into a coma, tinsel, friggen tinsel everywhere, with glittery garland and clashing colors and oh my gosh I think strawberry shortcake and her gang just threw up all over that tree.

*takes a deep breath*

I despise everything he likes for a tree and he despises good taste.

Peace treaties and compromises never work.  We’ve tried giving and taking, non-flahing colored lights, flashing white lights, little hideous garland, and shiny ornaments, but both of us always detest the end results.  Last year we had two trees, one for me and one for him…  the problem is that my tree still had all the war wounds from over the years and the budget went to buying his sparkly, glittering nonsense stuff for his new tree.  And I still has the flashing tree of nightmares in MY HOME!  And I’m home everyday, all day, with that tree… it really drives a purist insane.

But none of that matters this year, not one single bit.  For we have a new enemy to battle with.  She is going to be cunning I tell you, with her short little, fast body…  We’ll be lucky if either tree survives her invasions, let alone be able to put one single ornament up. 

But this chick is prepared, I bought a fence (one fence, enough for one single tree) for my tree *evil laugh*. 

All is fair in love and war baby.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!


6 responses to “~War~

  1. aww, what a great read! our tree (dare i say) has color. and golf and photography ornaments. and not much glitter unless you count the gold bead garland draped around it. you know what i hate? all that work, putting away my every day nicknacks and unpacking all the christmas stuff and then only having it up for 4 weeks. so much work! when you get both your trees up, can you share photos? i would love to see the contrast between yours and your hubby’s tree! 🙂

    karenlynnn 🙂

    • HaHa, color is great, when done right, unlike my husband wanting to throw a box of melted, glittery crayons all over the place. ;p When we had a smaller tree I actually, honestly, used to leave everything on it, and put the whole thing, lights and all, into a large tree storage bag. I miss those days! I will most definatly share photos! I had photos I almost posted from last year, but my tree was still decorated in a compromise fashion, and just wouldn’t show the difference in our tastes cleary enough, lol. Thanks for stopping in!

  2. We have so many nostalgic ornaments that I have given up trying for a theme. I am so with you on the baby thing, though. Mine is an 18-month old TERROR! So I’m dreading the tree. Luckily, though, we always wait until the last minute anyway, so hopefully I won’t be driven too madddddd!
    Your hubs better get a gate!

  3. HaHa, it’s the worst age to decorate around for sure! Thanks for reading! ❤

  4. Pay no attention to me – I’m just here, quietly building myself a glitter uzi. Come on teleportation technology – I’ve got un-Martha-fy, Emily!!! 🙂

    Thanks for the great post, as usual – I giggled, as usual.

  5. I feel your pain. My boyfriend, whom I live with, LOVES all things Christmas-gawdy. And I like simple white lights and more “classic” or as I like to call it “classy” decorations. Right now, I let him win, telling myself it’s kind of “retro.” But in my heart, I am cringing.

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