This week signals the beginning of a war in my home.
Soon you’ll see it, the helmets strapped on, the bullet proof vests tightened securely, the boots laced and the weapons drawn. Through the holiday music you can hear the battle cries of war, the alarms blaring, screaming out their warnings to all who venture near. The children, the children will be hiding in fear.
What can be so brutal? What could cause so much damage?
The Christmas Tree.
My taste in Christmas decorations revolve around simplicity, the outdoors, pure whites, greens and reds, you know, stuff Martha herself would drool over. Elegant pinecones, fresh greens, hand knit stockings, quilts, white lights and candles. AND NO GLITTER.
My husband, well he prefers bright flashing lights that send an epileptic person into a coma, tinsel, friggen tinsel everywhere, with glittery garland and clashing colors and oh my gosh I think strawberry shortcake and her gang just threw up all over that tree.
*takes a deep breath*
I despise everything he likes for a tree and he despises good taste.
Peace treaties and compromises never work. We’ve tried giving and taking, non-flahing colored lights, flashing white lights, little hideous garland, and shiny ornaments, but both of us always detest the end results. Last year we had two trees, one for me and one for him… the problem is that my tree still had all the war wounds from over the years and the budget went to buying his sparkly, glittering nonsense stuff for his new tree. And I still has the flashing tree of nightmares in MY HOME! And I’m home everyday, all day, with that tree… it really drives a purist insane.
But none of that matters this year, not one single bit. For we have a new enemy to battle with. She is going to be cunning I tell you, with her short little, fast body… We’ll be lucky if either tree survives her invasions, let alone be able to put one single ornament up.
But this chick is prepared, I bought a fence (one fence, enough for one single tree) for my tree *evil laugh*.
All is fair in love and war baby.
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!