I have a problem…
I can’t write.
Shhhhhhhussshhh! I don’t mean ever or at all… I mean right now. I don’t have it.
I mean I’ve been trying to accept a wonderful award passed on by two special people to me for DAYS, 4 of them to be exact… and I can’t do it. I’ve deleted more copies of drafts than cups of coffee that I’ve consumed. (That’s a whole lot) I just can’t do it.
Why you ask… I dunno. Maybe it’s the minions who refuse to stop trying to hold wrestling matches on my lap, maybe it’s my brain who can’t stop thinking of remodeling my kitchen (yes it IS THAT BAD), maybe it is because of a non-ending drought, maybe it’s because of the TMJ AGAIN, or maybe because I just don’t feel it… maybe.
Just please don’t tell me that I have moved on from this blogging/writing/journaling part of my life…
Something is just not meshing….
Paths and needs are crossing, dead ending, turning back and becoming unstable.
Is it an end… or a beginning?
And that’s where the post ended last Wednesday night. I have not physically been able to make it back to my computer since then. I’m on pain meds and muscle relaxers, and antibiotics (just in case) and can’t move my head to save my life. In reality I should probably be in the hospital, and I should probably be having surgery on my face… but in real reality, we can’t afford it. And we’re praying this will subside until my husband can at least get more vacation time, so someone can take care of me during the whatevers they want to do to me. That’s the pain of being a SAHM, you have very little in the way of backup when your body falls apart.
And the worst part, today is the bebe’s birthday… and even though she won’t remember that my face is swollen twice it’s size, and that there wasn’t a big party, or that mommy couldn’t make a homemade birthday cake… it still sucks.
All of this sucks.
So anyway, that’s where I’ve been. Hopefully everything will ease up soon and I’ll be able to catch up with everyone. Hopefully.