The Morning of the Walking Dead

I wonder if scientist have figured out the one and only cure for a zombie.  I mean it should be so obvious as us mothers have tested it daily, and it has proven to be the only thing that brings us sanity.  When the bebe keeps me up all night, there’s only one thought that crosses my mind when that sun crosses the horizon…

Coffffffffeeeeeeeeeee.

And why do we turn into zombies after a night of no sleep after we have children.  Is there a switch they pull in our wombs that suck the very life out of us?  I clearly remember before being pregnant with my first being able to go days with just an hour or two of sleep… hung over on top of that!  Now if I so much as miss one hour of sleep it’s…

*stomp, stomp, dragggggg, shuffle, stomp, shuffle*

The biggest set back with the coffee cure is that after a night of ONE HOUR of sleep it takes at least half a pot to not slur and mumble all words… and then when nap time does grace you with the chance of one more hour of peaceful slumber you find yourself too strung out on caffeine to sleep. 

This is known as zombie mode part two, which is almost more painful than part one.  And harder to cure.  Suggestions include frantic texts to the husband demanding that you don’t care how much is left in the bank account but he best be bringing home dinner that’s already cooked, and he best make it speedy, he best get home asap and he best have booze that can be mixed with more caffeine. 

Also too, the hope of one day torturing minions who infected you with the zombie bug by waking them up at 4am on a Saturday morning FOR NO REASON also has been known to get some through the day. 

The days following the Zombie infection can be equally just as hard, again mass amounts of caffeine are recommended… or sending the minions off to grandma’s or Alaska.  Either or.

Good luck out there!

Until next time… Cofffffffeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

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6 responses to “The Morning of the Walking Dead

  1. isthisthemiddle

    A life without coffee is too horrific to contemplate. Blessings to the first human to discover the magic of the coffee bean. Why is there no statue of her?

  2. Shaun of the Dead…perfect example, next to mothers with infants. Yawn…cccooofffffeeeeeeeeeeee

    • I really do believe coffee is a cure all, well except for the jitters or wanting to go to sleep, but I think that’s what the bailey’s is for….

  3. I remember my mother saying I shouldn’t stay up all night partying when I was a student, because it would kill off my brain cells. But it was only later, when I was up all night walking a fretful baby up and down and up and down that I really could feel each brain cell dying a slow and painful and screeching death!

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