Getting Pointless Once Again

I’m getting things crossed off that list, the one with 101 things to do in 365 days.  And of course that is all sorts of awesome.  Getting things done are the things dreams are made of, especially with a bazillion animals and young minions.  But yet I’m lacking on one MAJOR area…

“Finish the first edit of Denali”

“Write a Short Story/Flash Fiction”

In all honesty it’s been weeks, maybe even a month since I’ve pondered those two things.

So my brain pulls up excuses…  “You’ll get to them when all the other need to be done’s are done.”  “Maybe you SHOULDN’T be writing.”   “Maybe you should just be a rock farmer.”   “You just suck.”

*headoven*

At first slacking in the blogging/social media world was great.  I lost the constraints I was giving to myself, stopped hearing other people’s words and ideas instead of mine and all sorts of freeing epiphanies.  And then I just lost interest.

Did I lose the muse?

Did I ever have one?

*insert image of my brain and I spinning in circles*

I’ve whined, complained before, thinking maybe this just isn’t for me.  But right now my brain seems to be pretty much convinced.  After all, shouldn’t a passion fuel it’s self??? 

And what “writer” takes months off over and over again, no one will take that seriously.

And is it the book itself?  Is it the ideas?  Is it me?  *pours more coffee*

Do I start over?  Do I just force myself to do it?  Do I sell straw hats at an intersection?

Do I chase away all of my fellow readers by constant whining and pondering of my worth in the world of words?

*gulps down coffee*

And why are REM songs flashing through my head?

 

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3 responses to “Getting Pointless Once Again

  1. A friend of mine who writes, draws, plays guitar, and sings says that the saying “Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration” is truth. He says he only feels like he’s making forward progress after he’s worked hard, day in day out, whether he wants to or not. Therein lies my problem. I just want a flash of brilliance; I don’t want to slog.

    Also, what REM lyrics? I listened to a bunch of REM last night, how funny.

  2. *sighs* I just don’t want to work hard on something that might not be for me, kwim?

    And it’s mostly a mash of lines from “Stand” and “It’s the End of the World” and such.

  3. I know whereof you speak, Em. I do. When you’re questioning, “Is the reward I get from this enough for all the work it costs?” you are not alone. And only you know that answer. And that answer might change over time.

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